what kind of memory?
The kind that has teeth for protection
& grooves & divots brought on by old age
recalls not knowing their last would be last
regrets not savoring their final turnkey kiss
would swing the door wide open for you
you whose last was also last
who carried it from camp to camp to america or germany
or anywhere really, it’s all the same
in its wrongness
in its not-home-ness
when they tore him down to rubble
razed the brick-and-mortar of his body to the ground
it was a hundred thousand miles safely tucked away
had been years since its teeth had tasted the lock of his mouth
when they murdered him
it didn’t break no it vibrated
changed from key to tuning fork
death does that you know
transforms
& leaves just enough of you for everyone to think you still are what you were before
a key
an opening
an invitation
not an eternal vibration of anger or sorrow or grief
really it’s all the same
especially to you who carried it
& us who inherited it
whose bodies remember when the first brick was cast
bodies that hold our sidi and jedo and tata’s vibrations still
whose hands carry keys to homes that no longer exist
keys who sing about the catastrophe of belonging
how we will always be longing
how we’ve been forced to make refugee camps
out of the palms of our hands
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Nadia Said is a Palestinian living in the diaspora. She was raised on a steady diet of fried chicken, hummus, and falafel. She has made her peace with never being able to make maqluba liker her mama’s. Nadia Said is a 2025 Tin House Summer Workshop Alum, and has been published in Sapiens, an anthropological magazine, as well as the poetry anthology, Heaven Looks Like Us: Palestinian Poetry.
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In her four decade career, Bette Ridgeway has exhibited her work globally with over 80 museums, universities and galleries, including: Palais Royale, Paris and Embassy of Madagascar. Multiple prestigious awards include Top 60 Contemporary Masters, Leonardo DaVinci Prize, and Oxford University Alumni Prize at Chianciano Art Museum, Tuscany, Italy. Mayo Clinic and Federal Reserve Bank are amongst Ridgeway’s permanent public placements, in addition to countless important private collections. Many books and publications have featured her work, among them: International Contemporary Masters and 100 Famous Contemporary Artists. Ridgeway has also penned several books about her art and process.
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